Kissa da Fighting Fish

Pain is horrible. Pain is awful. When can pain just go away? So....today I went to get 2 MRI's to see if there is any form of surgical option. RSD is the suckiest of suck and I just wish I could just be normal. To be able to act again would be my biggest dream. Right now the thing I keep telling myself is just make it through the day, you can do it Christa, I know you are in pain but it could be worse. Well today was the worst of them all! This is a tough thing for an almost 21 year old to go through. Living my life from one set of pain pills to another. Always looking at the clock counting 6 hours from the last time I took them. It almost feels stupid. I feel very alone, it helps that my mom takes me out places, yet it is a very very lonely world. I am getting a reward soon. I have been seeing this guy named Josh that I met at my old college. He has been there for me, even though I have been half out of my mind. He is coming to visit me this weekend. He is working so hard to make up the time so he can come to visit me. It gives me relief to know that he is going to come to visit me. To be able to hug someone who is not my family. Someone who cares for me so much that he is working himself to the bone to come visit me.
The MRI I had today was awful! I think well I hope that I never have to feel that kind of pain again. I was seeing stars. Right now it is over 2 hours since I came home and I am still in major pain, I have even taken my pills. I am due to take my lidocain, a new little diddy that my pain doctor gave me. It makes my skin numb but it still doesn't stop all the pain. I am just excited for this weekend! Anyway I gotta go pass out now and maybe watch some TV, and eat Gummi Frogs!