Kissa da Fighting Fish

My RSD Leg is getting worse. It is very scary sometimes, and it is very very hard to deal with mentally. You don't want to let on to the people around you just how bad you are hurting. I have found if you talk about how much pain you are in, people tend to think you are just being a baby. It isn't fair that I have to have RSD, and it is very scary. I try to keep the good people in my life and the ones that don't care I leave them on the side of the road of life. It is very hard to push those people out of my life. Even though they have hurt me they are still a part of my life. I have to watch and take care of my mental and physical health and negativity doesn't help any of that.
The last couple weeks I have been very busy, and now I am paying for it. My future sister in law and I went to the Art Museum and did art projects also. We had a blast it was treat to have Delilah over and hang out and be silly girls. We watched a lot of movies,ordered pizza, ate cookies with lots of icing,ate chips, and had sandwiches. It was amazing and very yummy. 2 days of just being silly.
Now my ankle is huge because I pushed myself too much. It wasn't a good idea to push myself like that.
I really want to go see Joey today but I don't know what time I will feel up to leaving the house let alone getting cleaned up.
We are currently still celebrating World Wide RSD Angel Month. In order to celebrate we are collecting RSD stories from patients and caregivers. We need to educate the masses on the horrors or RSD/CRPS.
The road to a cure starts with education! Check out www.rsdcrpsdoesntownme.com and share it with your friends and family. Help us spread awareness!

These last couple of weeks have been rather stressful but now we are only a few days away from the beginning of World Wide RSD Angel Month. For the whole month of March RSD/CRPS Doesn't Own Me is hosting a month filled with celebrating our Battle against RSD. We are looking for testimonies and personal stories straight from RSD Angels themselves.
We hope to collect as many as possible and to have them on our website to spread Awareness about RSD/CRPS. It will be the largest collection of RSD Angel Stories ever!
RSD/CRPS Doesn't Own Me has been growing in leaps and bounds lately. So many people are learning about RSD and why we struggle each day to stay positive and live our lives.
Also our store is growing as well. We have almost tripled our products within the last 3 months.
Check out RSD/CRPS Doesn't Own Me's store at www.zazzle.com/kissdatfisha/gifts all of the proceeds go to Continued Awareness, and expansion of Awareness about RSD/CRPS. We are fighting this battle every day and we are working hard to win this war against RSD/CRPS. We will have a cure!

Pain hasn't been a big problem lately. I have been learning and growing a lot as a person these last few weeks. Joey and I have been growing as a couple also. I love him more and more each day. He just makes my heart flutter. I can't wait till we can be together forever! He is a great man!
He really helps me over come my pain and not sit on my bum and be a slug. It gives me hope and happiness to be around him!
In General life is good. I have been sickly though lately. My leg hates me on a regular basis. It is rough but I like my life.
Joey took me to Dave and Busters this past week and also took me to Build-a-Bear. It was nice and just the thing I needed.

So it has been majorly busy lately. This past weekend COGS had their premier of our new Movie "Phantoms of the Twin City Opera House." It was amazing! We then hosted a public ghost hunt after the movie and a large number of people came. We had a lot of really cool activity and the cool thing was that my boyfriend Joey and my dad were there. I like sharing my life with Joey. We are always around each other. I miss him when he isn't there. It is like a part of myself isn't around.

I have another Ghost Hunt Movie Premier this upcoming weekend at Bobby Mackey's Music World. I can't believe how cool it is that we get these opportunities and get to meet the people that we do.

So I am planning on going away for vacation soon and I am totally excited! Joey is taking me camping in a cabin! Woot! What a nice valentines day gift? We are planning on talking about something very important while we are there. I am looking forward to sleeping and just being away from it all.
We aren't going to have any cellphones, computers, video games, nothing. Just a book to read, maybe a movie or two, and some board games. Its gonna be amazing!

This week I wrote something for RSD/CRPS Doesn't Own Me and I wanted to share it with anyone who hasn't seen it yet. It is a rallying cry to arms against RSD. This was never written about anyone personally, private, or other wise. It was only to remind all of us that RSD is our true enemy. Not each other.

It has come to my attention that there is a lot of gossiping, slander, and hate among our RSD Angels.

When I made this Awareness Group and Fan Page I never would have believed I would hear that my wonderful Angels were fighting among themselves.

We deal with horrific pain everyday. Wouldn't we want happiness in our life? You are the only one that can control what you say and do!

I hoped not to have to write a note about this topic. But apparently some people need to be reminded that WE ARE ALL in horrid gut wrenching searing pain 24/7.

When you are an RSD Angel you need to think of all of the RSD Angels. We are fighting for each and every one of us to someday have a cure. Not just one!

This isn't a one person fight or dream. It takes team work, and who can work as a team when we are divided?

If we are allowing ourselves to be catty or go around spreading lies that is making our fight for a cure and awareness of RSD/CRPS that much harder. Instead of taking that much needed 2 steps forward we have brought ourselves 10 feet back.

I don't care who started any of the gossiping, slander, or hate, I want it to end here and now.

As I said a couple of days ago. Let us start anew! This is the first day of the rest of our lives. Are we going to let our emotions, or this horrid RSD control how we act? I say no!

Let us stand up and say we are RSD Angels we walk through fire, hell, and brimstone everyday and we still are here. We still are smiling. We are victorious and we will overcome RSD/CRPS! Now Who is going to join me and put aside everything else and fight against our only common foe..........RSD/CRPS!

There is a copy of this and other articles by RSD/CRPS Doesn't Own Me Staff Members @
http://www.rsdcrpsdoesntownme.com/articles.php

So the next few weeks are gonna be crazy busy.....I am so nervous about it and I pray that everything is going to go ok. I have one movie premier the end of Jan and one the first week of February. I have planned the one at Bobby Mackey's myself. I am very nervous and hope it goes over well. We will be signing autographs and showing the movie starting at 7 on the 6th of Feb. Then on the 30th of Jan. we have the McConnelsville Opera House Premier and Public Investigation. This will be our third Open Public Investigation there and I am really looking forward to it!
Then the weekend after that Joey is taking me Camping.....I am very excited!

My pain has jumped up through the roof lately. Maybe because of all the stress I have been under. I had to go to church yesterday cause I am in charge of some service stuff. So I was there from 9 till almost 1:30. Then I had to go change and go to Tara's to hang out. By the time I got there I was dead. My whole leg was shooting pain and I wanted to die. So Joey and I decided to go back to his house and see if hanging and chilling there would help. But by the time we got there I was crying just from the vibrations of my car. So he decided that I couldn't drive myself home so I had to stay at his house.
He is soooo very protective of me....I was in so much pain but he didn't want to allow me to be alone.He held me most of the night and tried to calm me when I had bad pain spikes. All in all he is an amazing man. I can't believe how lucky I am to have him. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
Life is stressful but when I look to the future I tend to have a smile on my face and that is something I haven't really done since before my accident. The future looks very bright! It would be even brighter with some bling bling but I am just saying LOL!
Anyway I am off to lay down and chill for a bit. HUGS!

So I haven't been writing lately though I don't know who read this blog anymore.....I am pretty much writing for my own sake I guess. New Years was good. Joey and I went over to Kat's House. I helped her plan the party and I ended up dying the whole time there and my ankle blew up to the size of a house. Just the left one aka my RSD Ankle. I am sooooo frustrated with my RSD in general and also I am frustrated with Workman's Comp!
I woke up this morning and my mother gave me a report from an email I got about my Workman's Comp case stating that I really didn't have RSD that is is really cause I am overweight and to put a horrible cherry on top of all that stated they called my mother enabling!
How can they get off saying things like that?! I am the one with the Neurological disease called RSD not my mother....she has nothing to do with this!!! How dare they attack her?! I can deal with what they say about me because I am used to it but bringing my mother into this is the last fricking straw! You thinking I was fighting barely before but now they brought my family into this and now it is all out war now!
You try to help your family while you want to crawl into a ball and die because the pain is through the roof and your whole leg is spasming!? I would like to see any of those pencil pushers deal half of what I deal with on a daily basis! UG! I just can't believe it!
Anyway enough being pissed off at the state.
Sorry if this offended anyone.....I am just sooo tired of bending over backwards and being in this horrid pain. I just want to be able to sleep without having to use a sleep aid because I can't fall asleep or stay asleep because of my pain. I am tired of dealing with the shocks and the swelling within my legs. I am tired of people not believing me!
I am so tired that I just wanna run away but that isn't possible! I am injured! I just wanna get better. I am 22 years old! I have dreams I wanna be a regular member of society and I just want my life back!